Short joke of the day for adults - Put a little boogie in it. 0 Laughs. Share. TheLaughFactory. @TheLaughFactory. President Lincoln was approached by a woman after a political speech…. If you were my husband I would poison your tea. Lincoln replied...if you are my wife I’ll gladly drink it. 0 Laughs.

 
Short joke of the day for adultsShort joke of the day for adults - A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you." 11.6K Laughs.

It will be a sadder day. 80. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. Funny Dad Jokes. If these bad Dad jokes matched your sense of humor and you want more terrible jokes, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes pages, including these: Anti Jokes. Baby Jokes. Best Jokes. Corny Jokes. Dark Jokes. Father’s Day …Dirty Seniors. By Savvas. in Dirty Jokes. +2746 -891. An 80yr old couple were seen shagging furiously up against a fence. For 40 mins they shagged like Bast*rds. Arms and legs going everywhere until they fell to the floor. Christ she said “you didnt F*ck Me like that 50yrs ago! Check out these hilarious short jokes! 1. A plateau is the highest form of flattery. 2. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally. 3. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana. 4. A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police.Being an adult is hard. No one can deny that. And yet, we all get up every day, put on our big-kid pants and deal with the world without having a meltdown every five minutes. For m...1) Best Irish joke is “The Doctor.”. Irish Jokes the doctor. After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says, “You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will …Feb 16, 2023 · Valentine's Day puns that are simply the zest. St. Patrick's Day puns that totally sham-rock. Fall puns that are a gourd play on words. Frightfully funny Halloween puns guaranteed to lift everyone ... 24. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me. 25. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you ...Aug 3, 2023 · One word: Comedy! In the words of famous pianist and conductor Victor Borge, “Laughter is the closest distance between two people.”. If you have ever watched the way people’s faces light up upon hearing a joke, then you’d know that Victor Borge was right. It’s simple psychology. In the fullness of time, we would all come to realize that humor is genuinely a gift that keeps on giving. To this end, I leave you with the exquisite words of renowned American Author Grenville Kleiser. “Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression.Mar 19, 2023 ... Comments ; JOKES OF THE DAY II FUNNY JOKES II JOKES II DAILY JOKES II BEST JOKES II EPISODE 21 · 27K views ; ULTIMATE TRY NOT TO LAUGH TEST!|150 best Christmas jokes, including funny Christmas jokes for kids, Santa dad jokes, elf humor, dirty adult jokes, and more hilarious holiday fun.Answer: The letter W! 8. Riddle: Name three consecutive days without naming any of the seven days of the week. Answer: Yesterday, today and tomorrow. 9. Riddle: You are in a dark room with a box ...Everyone loves some good funny jokes. However, if you worry that your goldfish memory will fail you, we've prepared some short jokes that are easy to recall! …One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. 38. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? “Give me my quarter back!”. 39. How is losing money in a payphone like a football game? If you don’t get the quarter back, you hit the receiver! 40. How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?Jul 29, 2022 · A short-term memory. There is a widespread belief that goldfish only have a 3-second memory. However, scientists have busted the three-second memory myth. Nonetheless, that doesn't change the fact that quite a few people have a poor memory, perhaps not as bad as 3 seconds. Still, it would take a while to remember what they had for breakfast ... Here at LaffGaff, we publish a brand new funny joke of the day each and every day of the year. So make sure you keep coming back for your daily laughs, including Dad jokes, corny jokes for kids and adults, stupid jokes, short jokes, and more!. Below are all our latest daily jokes (they’re ideal for celebrating International Joke Day, which is …A: A bloodhound. What do you get if you cross a Rottweiler and a hyena? I don’t know but I recommend you join in if it laughs. Q: Why do dogs make terrible dance partners? A: They’ve got two left feet! What do you get when you cross a dog and an egg? A pooched egg. via GIPHY. Be prepared to both cackle and cringe while reading these 24 ...150 best Christmas jokes, including funny Christmas jokes for kids, Santa dad jokes, elf humor, dirty adult jokes, and more hilarious holiday fun.A: A bloodhound. What do you get if you cross a Rottweiler and a hyena? I don’t know but I recommend you join in if it laughs. Q: Why do dogs make terrible dance partners? A: They’ve got two left feet! What do you get when you cross a dog and an egg? A pooched egg. via GIPHY. Be prepared to both cackle and cringe while reading these 24 ... People with ADHD can find it challenging to stay on task with day-to-day activities. Creating a routine can help you stay on task and be more productive. If you have ADHD, creating...Humor has always been a universal language that brings people together and brightens up even the dullest of days. One of the most common types of jokes is puns – plays on words tha...Everyone loves some good funny jokes. However, if you worry that your goldfish memory will fail you, we've prepared some short jokes that are easy to recall! …When life gets tough, sometimes all we need is a good laugh to lighten the mood. Humor has been a universal language that brings people together and brightens even the darkest of d...Not Happy. 2. A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says, “I believe that I am a type o.”. 3. You know, there’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. 4. I’ll never forget my dad’s face when I gave him his 50th birthday card, tears in his eyes, as he said to me, ‘One ...55 Fart Jokes That Will Knock The Wind Out Of You. We don’t mean to toot our own horn, but we can’t possibly be the only ones who love good toilet humor. No matter your age, a fart will never not be funny, and a shart will never not be tragically hilarious. After all, everyone passes wind, from the youngest of babies to the eldest ...Jul 27, 2022 · And you don't have to worry about these being clean: All of our favorite jokes are fit for kids and adults. In addition to the 70 jokes below, we've also got dad jokes , jokes for kiddos , mom jokes , and jokes for holidays that you can share them with the youngest person in the room (be sure to bookmark our April Fool's jokes for next year!) Apr 6, 2023 ... A man was caught having a daytime affair - (FUNNY ADULT JOKE) | Funny Short Jokes 2023 · Comments7.Millions of adults deal with incontinence on a daily basis and require adult diapers to go about their day-to-day lives. Incontinence products have improved a lot in recent years. ...The whole time there's a guy in the back watching the show, but not laughing; just sitting there rubbing his chin. Finally the comedian tells the same joke one last time and says, "Good-night, everybody!" Thunderous applause. Huge standing ovation. As he's leaving the comedian walks past the guy in the back.Feb 14, 2024 · 1. Who always has a date on Valentine's Day?A calendar. 2. What Valentine's message can you find in a honeycomb? "Bee mine." 3. Which new Taylor Swift tune is the best couple's song for two ghosts ... April Fool's Day crafts bring a bit of levity and creativity to the holiday. Find out more about April Fool's Day crafts -- and tricks. Advertisement On April Fool's Day, prankster...Sep 06, 2022 171 Of The Best And Funniest Text Jokes For Adults Neilas Šurkus and Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė 21 2 ADVERTISEMENT First of all - congrats! Felicitations …115 Funny One-Liner Jokes to Have You Laughing Out Loud Last Updated: July 11, 2023 What a better way to make somebody laugh than a well-timed funny one …Put a little boogie in it. 0 Laughs. Share. TheLaughFactory. @TheLaughFactory. President Lincoln was approached by a woman after a political speech…. If you were my husband I would poison your tea. Lincoln replied...if you are my wife I’ll gladly drink it. 0 Laughs.Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up. You’ll laugh out loud at these other corny jokes about animals. 54 / 85. Nicole Fornabaio/Rd.com. An apple a day really can keep the doctor away ...6. #23. A friendly reminder that gyms get really busy around the new year as people make their resolutions. So it’s best to wait for it to die down, usually around January 2nd. 9 points. POST. #24. "I made a New Year's resolution to stop procrastinating, but I'm going to wait until next year to start." 8 points.11. All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy. 12. You know what they say about a clean desk: It’s a sure sign of a cluttered desk drawer. 13. I get plenty of exercise at work: Jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines. 14. I gave up my seat to an elderly person on the bus.May 23, 2022 · The first one says, “I’ll have a pint of blood.”. The second one says, “I’ll have one, too.”. The third one says, “I’ll have a pint of plasma.”. The bartender says, “So, that’ll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?”. 4. How many other jokes can one make off ‘Man walks into a bar?’? A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. When it comes to snowy scenarios, these jokes take on an extra layer of fun, combining the classic knock-knock format with wintry elements that are familiar to many. These jokes are not just a way to lighten up a chilly day, but also a testament to the universal appeal of simple, playful humor. 44. Knock!Who doesn’t love a good laugh? Laughter is contagious, and it has the power to bring people together. Whether you’re having a bad day or just need a pick-me-up, jokes can instantly...In today’s fast-paced world, finding ways to stay entertained is more important than ever. Whether you’re looking for a quick laugh during your lunch break or want to lighten the m...And if your funny bone requires further tickling, check out some of our other favorites, such as the 100 best jokes ever published in Reader’s Digest, our collection of easy-to-remember short ...When it comes to snowy scenarios, these jokes take on an extra layer of fun, combining the classic knock-knock format with wintry elements that are familiar to many. These jokes are not just a way to lighten up a chilly day, but also a testament to the universal appeal of simple, playful humor. 44. Knock!Jun 4, 2021 · Answer: Your left hand. 6. What can you catch, but not throw? Answer: A cold. 7. What kind of band never plays music? Answer: A rubber band. 8. What has many teeth, but cannot bite? Dirty Seniors. By Savvas. in Dirty Jokes. +2746 -891. An 80yr old couple were seen shagging furiously up against a fence. For 40 mins they shagged like Bast*rds. Arms and legs going everywhere until they fell to the floor. …Aug 2, 2023 · These may be adult funny jokes but we make sure to keep it a bit clean and appropriate. We try to keep it cheerful, hilarious, and public appropriate. So share it with your family, friends, and other old people you know. Don’t keep the fun all to yourself. Play fair and share the laughter to a room full of people. Dec 13, 2020 ... ... short selections of the funniest comedy to tell your friends. These funny stories that will make you ... Joke. Laugh so hard. Joke of the day.Dirty Seniors. By Savvas. in Dirty Jokes. +2746 -891. An 80yr old couple were seen shagging furiously up against a fence. For 40 mins they shagged like Bast*rds. Arms and legs going everywhere until they fell to the floor. Christ she said “you didnt F*ck Me like that 50yrs ago! Here are 150 funny jokes for kids that will make even the most serious adult smile. We've broken them down by category, but all the jokes are pretty punny — we swear. 35 Animal Jokes For KidsSubmitted to Contest #238. The Love Machine “What we have here is failure to communicate.” -The Captain, Cool Hand Luke Christian couldn’t communicate his feelings to Roxanne. John Alden wasn’t able to speak for himself. Henry was likewise unable to express his love for the beautiful Janet by use of th...Corny Christmas Dad Jokes. Christmas Jokes for Kids. Christmas Knock-Knock Jokes. Santa Claus Jokes. Christmas Puns. Short Christmas Jokes. Christmas is all about spending quality time with ...Adults can take Flintstones Vitamins according to the manufacturer. The dosage for adults varies depending on what type of vitamin you choose. Adults need to take one Flintstones c...These cute jokes will make you reminisce on the good times of summer, even in the depth of winter; this we can promise hands down! Don’t forget to vote for the best jokes and share this article with your friends, too. #1. Packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip. Unpacks 3 months after returning home. Report.Dirty Seniors. By Savvas. in Dirty Jokes. +2746 -891. An 80yr old couple were seen shagging furiously up against a fence. For 40 mins they shagged like Bast*rds. Arms and legs going everywhere until they fell to the floor. …The Earth’s tilt on its axis is what causes the change in the seasons and explains why summer days are longer than winter days. The Earth orbits in an ellipse around the Sun, and b...125 Short Clean Jokes for the Whole Family. An Eskimo brings his friend to his home for a visit. When they arrive, his friend asks, puzzled – “So where’s your igloo?”. “Oh no, I must’ve left the iron on…”. Paul: “I’ve got problems with mathematics.”. Michael: “Me too.”. Eric: “Yeah, that makes four of us.”.A collection of dirty jokes of the day to make you LOL! - Dirty Jokes, Adult Jokes, Rude Jokes, and Crude Jokes.Put a little boogie in it. 0 Laughs. Share. TheLaughFactory. @TheLaughFactory. President Lincoln was approached by a woman after a political speech…. If you were my husband I would poison your tea. Lincoln replied...if you are my wife I’ll gladly drink it. 0 Laughs. But hay, it’s in my jeans. 20. A man is walking in the desert with his horse and his dog when the dog says, “I can’t do this. I need water.”. The man says, “I didn’t know dogs could talk.”. The horse says, “Me neither!”. 21. A guy goes into a lawyer’s office and asks the lawyer: “Excuse me, how much do you charge?”.Apr 24, 2023 · 105 of the best short jokes and one-liners to get you laughing in seconds. "I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why". Master of the one-liner Tim Vine makes a few appearances ... People with ADHD can find it challenging to stay on task with day-to-day activities. Creating a routine can help you stay on task and be more productive. If you have ADHD, creating...Everyone loves some good funny jokes. However, if you worry that your goldfish memory will fail you, we've prepared some short jokes that are easy to recall! …It is important to take some time off from your day-to-day grind every once in a while and just laugh! So, without further adieu, here are the best funny jokes for adults. Jokes are the manner in which each and every person can express their feelings and also emotions. They are a great means of easing up both mind and body.Jul 28, 2023 · A white Christmas. #27. A man and a woman were having sex in the middle of the forest at night. At the end of a 10-minute romping session, the man got up and said, ‘dang, I wish I carried a flashlight.’. The woman replied, ‘Yeah, me too coz you’ve been banging grass for the past 10 minutes.’. #28. Tick Tock Goes the Clock. Doctor: “Mr. Jones, you may want to sit down. I have some bad news and some very bad news… which would you like to hear first?”. Mr. Jones: “Oh jeez, I guess I’ll take the bad news first.”. Doctor: “The bad news” doctor notes, “is that I got your test results and you have 24 hours to live.”.In today’s fast-paced world, it can be challenging to stay motivated and positive throughout the day. However, incorporating short positive quotes into your daily routine can make ...Because the average American eats approximately 1996.3 pounds of food per year, the average amount of food that an adult can eat each day is 5.46 pounds. Dividing 1996.3 by 365 day...101 Brain Teasers. iStock. 1. A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bus trip that would last a week ...PAWN SHOP. @brendenlmao. Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day, and buy tickets to live shows at our comedy clubs. The dentist told his patient to open wider. “My goodness!” he said. “You’ve got the biggest cavity I’ve seen, the biggest cavity I’ve seen.” “Ok,” said the patient, “but I’m scared enough. Do you need to repeat yourself?” “I didn’t,” said the dentist. “That was the echo.”.Adults can take Flintstones Vitamins according to the manufacturer. The dosage for adults varies depending on what type of vitamin you choose. Adults need to take one Flintstones c...Five Hot Short Jokes For Guys – All Will Make Your Day. 1. That awkward moment when your witch girlfriend is giving you BJ and she receives an info that she is ...1. There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. (…Only a fraction of people will get this clean joke .) 2. What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics! 3. Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon? It had great food, but no atmosphere. 4. What did one ocean say to ... 6. #23. A friendly reminder that gyms get really busy around the new year as people make their resolutions. So it’s best to wait for it to die down, usually around January 2nd. 9 points. POST. #24. "I made a New Year's resolution to stop procrastinating, but I'm going to wait until next year to start." 8 points.A: Seven. Q: What 3 numbers give the same result when multiplied and added together? A: 1, 2, and 3 (1 + 2 + 3 = 6 and 1 x 2 x 3 = 6). Q: What's a single-digit number with no value? A: Zero. Q: A ...May 25, 2021 · Short jokes for adults • What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. • Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every play has a cast. 125 Short Clean Jokes for the Whole Family. An Eskimo brings his friend to his home for a visit. When they arrive, his friend asks, puzzled – “So where’s your igloo?”. “Oh no, I must’ve left the iron on…”. Paul: “I’ve got problems with mathematics.”. Michael: “Me too.”. Eric: “Yeah, that makes four of us.”.4.There’s a guy sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Soon, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and ...Mar 22, 2017 · A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn’t been feeling well and wants to find out if he is ill. After the checkup, the doctor comes out with the results of the examination. “I’m afraid I have some bad news. You’re dying and you don’t have much time,” the doctor says. “Oh no, that’s terrible. 150 best Christmas jokes, including funny Christmas jokes for kids, Santa dad jokes, elf humor, dirty adult jokes, and more hilarious holiday fun.Feb 1, 2023 · Clean Jokes About Food. Shutterstock / Stephanie Frey. A man walks into a library and orders a hamburger. 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It is important to take some time off from your day-to-day grind every once in a while and just laugh! So, without further adieu, here are the best funny jokes for adults. Jokes are the manner in which each and every person can express their feelings and also emotions. They are a great means of easing up both mind and body.. Dineromia onlyfans leaked

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157 Funny Knock-Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up. The best zingers in a timeless format. By Bob Larkin. May 31, 2023. Shutterstock / PeopleImages.com - Yuri A. Knock-knock jokes date back to the early 20th century, and as corny as they are, they're still a staple of American humor. In fact, we'd wager that some of the first jokes …Mar 25, 2021 · Turns out, good players are hard to find. A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, "You have to help me, I think I'm shrinking." "Now settle down," the doctor calmly told him. "You'll just have to learn to be a little patient." If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims. Feb 22, 2017 ... ... Funny animals and pets! Hope you like our compilation, please share it and SUBSCRIBE! Watch also our other videos! The content in this ...Asperger’s syndrome refers to a mild form of autism. Doctors no longer use it as a diagnosis, but many people still self-identify with the label. Learn more here. 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Browse through the directory of thousands of jokes added everyday and enjoy the joke of the day. ). ). Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. 100 ...December 18, 2023 by LaffGaff We feature a lot of jokes for kids here on LaffGaff, and we do try to keep our jokes clean and inoffensive (most of the time!). That …These fall jokes are so funny, it's unbe-leaf-able. By Samantha Lawyer Updated: Aug 29, 2023 4:20 PM EST The arrival of fall can mean something different for everyone.These fall jokes are so funny, it's unbe-leaf-able. By Samantha Lawyer Updated: Aug 29, 2023 4:20 PM EST The arrival of fall can mean something different for everyone.A guy comes to work very sick and asks his boss for advice. The boss says, "You know, if it were me, I'd just go home and let my wife really take care of me in all aspects, if you know what I mean. Now go and do just that, Roger, you look pretty bad." -. 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Incontinence products have improved a lot in recent years. ...Funny Valentine quotes about love. 25. “Love is a misunderstanding between two fools.”. — Oscar Wilde. 26. “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.”. …Ian Crouch rounds up the funniest moments, intentional and otherwise, of 2020, including Trump impressions, Sacha Baron Cohen’s punking of Rudy Giuliani, passive-aggressive household brand names ...One word: Comedy! In the words of famous pianist and conductor Victor Borge, “Laughter is the closest distance between two people.”. If you have ever watched the way people’s faces light up upon hearing a joke, then you’d know that Victor Borge was right. It’s simple psychology.Dec 6, 2023 ... Kid jokes about animals. Q: What does a spider's bride wear? A: A webbing dress. Q: Where do cows go for entertainment? A ...158 Clean Jokes To Bring Laughter To The Table. Linas Simonaitis, Violeta Lyskoit and. Neilas Šurkus. 28. 2. ADVERTISEMENT. While they are not always as exciting as jokes for adults, squeaky clean jokes can absolutely crack up even the most reserved, stoic person. The place you’re going to use these will most likely be at family gatherings ...Person 1: I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes. Person 2: How?! Person 1: I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven. And if your funny bone requires further tickling, check out some of our other favorites, such as the 100 best jokes ever published in Reader’s Digest, our collection of easy-to-remember short ...Jul 29, 2022 · A short-term memory. There is a widespread belief that goldfish only have a 3-second memory. However, scientists have busted the three-second memory myth. Nonetheless, that doesn't change the fact that quite a few people have a poor memory, perhaps not as bad as 3 seconds. Still, it would take a while to remember what they had for breakfast ... Aug 1, 2022 · BADminton. During the World Cup in Brazil, the England team visited an orphanage. “It was heart-breaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,” said João, age 6. Lol, I'm assuming this joke was made before Germany completey & utterly humiliated/destroyed Brazil in their own world cup in the semi's losing 1-7. Two men are sitting in a rooftop bar of a skyscraper when the first one says to the other “I bet you $100 I can jump off the building and survive.”. The second man, too drunk to take him seriously, agrees. The first man gets up and jumps over the edge. A few minutes later, the first man gets off the elevator. Welcome to “100 Adult Jokes: Laugh Out Loud with Puns & One-Liners,” the ultimate collection that’s guaranteed to bring a smile to your face and a chuckle to your day! In this space, we serve up a smorgasbord of jests, from the witty to the wacky, that’s perfect for your adult sense of humor. Get ready to dive into a world where ...Feb 24, 2022 · 40 Of (Probably) The Best One-Line Jokes Of All Time. Linas Simonaitis, Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė and. Saulė Tolstych. 126. 15. Share. ADVERTISEMENT. A one-liner, also known as a punchline in some cases, is a truly remarkable form of a joke. First of all, it is so short that by telling it, you’ll never miss the ‘magical moment’ and ... Funny Morning Jokes. 1. What did the man say when he woke up in the morning to find he had turned into a cat? He said, “Don’t ask meow it happened.”. —–. 2. …A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you." 11.6K Laughs. Aug 11, 2022 ... Safe For Work Jokes · What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's day? I'm stuck on you. · Know why the skeletons are so calm? &mid...Asperger’s syndrome refers to a mild form of autism. Doctors no longer use it as a diagnosis, but many people still self-identify with the label. Learn more here. Asperger’s syndro...So today I offer you 25 great funny short jokes that are guaranteed to brighten your day. Well, perhaps not all of them. However, I’m confident that most of them will brighten your day. They’re all quick to read, and if at least some of them don’t make you smile, then nothing will. So take a few minutes for yourself and enjoy these funny ...5. This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder. Axentevlad / Getty Images. — johnbugara. 6. A duck is standing next to a busy road, cars zooming past while he waits for a break in ...150 best Christmas jokes, including funny Christmas jokes for kids, Santa dad jokes, elf humor, dirty adult jokes, and more hilarious holiday fun.Feb 9, 2024 · We've got the funniest corny jokes on the Internet. 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